How Much is TOO Much? Why You Should NOT Share Student Info with Staff

I know I’ll get some push back on this, but I’m doing it anyway. I recently saw a post in one of the Facebook communities I’m in asking about how much information should be shared with school staff and I am pretty firm in this response, as little as possible.

I think this may have been covered in grad school, specifically when we talked about student confidentiality, but the theory of counseling turns into a different ballgame when you actually get into the building, and the longer you’re there the worse it is. It can feel very isolating when staff grow frustrated with you for taking their students from class without explanation, especially when often the children who need us may also be in need of every minute of class time they can get.

And look, it’s natural for teachers to talk about students, they are like our kids, so we share stories, good and not so good at times. Chatting with each other, in the hallways and breakrooms and such is normal. I even remember being in transition sessions when my 8th grade students were heading off to high school where we would make sure the new counselor had the scoop to be able to support them right from the jump. I mean I even put a section in my book, Drag ‘Em Kicking and Screaming about drafting a new team for your students as you prepare them for life without you. I know that there are definitely times when sharing student information is necessary.

But I also know that many times, it is NOT necessary.

I’ll use a personal example for this one, but I’ll spare you the specific details. One of my children, who will remain nameless, once had a bit of a run in with her softball coach over something minor like not doing the drills properly. It wasn’t a huge deal, no argument, just a tween who was not showing the proper commitment and team spirit according to one coach. The word got back to me, not from said coach however, but via my daughter’s math teacher because the coach had made several inquiries of teaching staff alluding to my child’s “laziness”, which every staff member found to be completely opposite of her normal behavior.

Now this was not a serious incident, mind you. No private information was shared, and unlike some of the information we as counselors and social workers have, this scenario didn’t fall under anything significant like abuse, financial difficulty or mental health challenges. The questioning, nor the answers, wouldn't have necessarily fallen under the FERPA or HIPAA privacy rules either. I think we can all assume, information of that nature should definitely be shared in very limited quantities. But none the less, these kinds of general conversations can be equally harmful.

In my daughter’s case, she felt embarrassed and blindsided by someone she respected having a one sided view of the story. She felt judged and as if people were ‘talking about her’ behind her back and she lost what little trust that she had for that coach too. Her tween age made this worse I’m sure, and anxious thoughts certainly didn’t make it better. So the bottom line is, what little information that is gained or exchanged, typically comes at a cost that our students will pay and quite possibly other staff as well.

Generally, when counselors or mental health professionals become aware of information that may be useful for school personnel to receive, it’s usually related to health and safety or social-emotional needs. Sharing even a portion of those details with staff, especially without student consent is at best a slippery slope, but at worst it could possibly a violation of their rights or our own code of ethics.

But what can you say when the homeroom teacher pops in to see why you pulled her student from class? That’s where a little bit of prep work goes a long way.

Explaining confidentiality to staff and students at the beginning of each year is a great refresher lesson for your department to deliver. Making sure students know when you must tell and why at least gives you a little bit of ground work if you have to share something. When you click on the flyer above your can download a copy to keep in your office for reference and feel free to include a link to this blog post in your newsletter.

Getting consent from students is the best case scenario which can also be incredibly empowering especially for children who have experienced trauma who may often feel as if they have little control over their own stories. Talk about why, and why not, they might consider sharing this information and with whom. It’s fair to say I think it might help your teachers to know about this, but you should also be honest about how information can spread and respect their right to privacy. Remember, teachers rarely have access to the privacy that we do in our counseling office and even the anxiety about someone overhearing the information is enough to be harmful to our students.

Details can really get you into trouble in small schools or small towns too. Using a code of themes such as personal/home, academic or social concern can also allow you to share the general need the student is addressing without giving unnecessary details as well. In those instances, I might share this in an email to classroom staff.

When you feel you must share and/or if you’ve gotten consent from the student, please be mindful to share as few details as possible. Often, in our quest to become trauma informed we forget that our students also have the right to NOT be reminded about their traumas or expected to share as well. I’ve known students who were desperate to have just one place in their life that was untouched by the challenges in their world. One place where no one asked them about the abuse or where people didn’t look at them with pity. Remember the trust and security are essential to a healthy relationship, which we know is needed for all students. Don’t let the pressure to share undermine your commitment to your student’s need.